Anxiety ... Definitely common

This isn't about my recent book Project that's been moving along well but instead about my decision to attempt to attend college.

I've been stung in the past as many have by the education system. Usually people who don't think I'm good enough to be their friend or those who don't think I'll ever amount to anything. Whatever other crap that is. I've decided upon a major and have someone helping me out. I've been really excited about this for a while but now that I'm taking the steps towards even beginning to be a college student I'm getting anxiety.

Sure it's a common problem among people. They want to place me better by having me take a few practice tests online and then an actual one. Right but problem is that I'm not getting much time to practice before the actual one. It's the end of July and school will start in August for Autumn semester. Haven't attended school for 4 years so I'm not sure if I even remember some of the things I already learned or am already supposed to know.

Always was I used to being the one with really good grades and my intelligence was the one thing I was proud of. It also made other people proud of me. But if I don't remember the material then the college will find my first low test score in history. I'll look like a moron and they'll wonder how I graduated high school at all.

Talked to my Mom about it and she said that if I don't feel ready then I don't have to attend in the Autumn. Except I was ready. Been for four years. Should've gone straight out of high school like I wanted to but things got in the way.

If I don't do it while this opportunity is available then I'll be waiting another several years to get started. Don't want to have a walker at graduation and grey hair.

This isn't discrimination against anyone who graduated at an older age. I'm proud of you for achieving your goals. Just personally not what I imagined for myself. Know that I sound like some complaining lunatic and that many people don't even get to attend college because of lack of education or funds( you deserve so much more) but it's just my point of view. That's actually why I started this blog. To talk about my writing and my personal journey with people who can offer advice, just take the time to read my thoughts, as well as open up themselves. A comfortable place to discuss your writing projects and feelings.